A Story in a Box

Many of the pieces of my novels come from personal experience and stories told by the world around me.  I spend a lot of time simply watching birds, animals, people, clouds; each has a story to tell.

This morning, as I walked my wife, Bri, to her bus stop, we spied a box sitting on the corner of a street.  On the way home, I stopped, carefully opened it, and took a handful of photographs.  Something as simple as this box weaves a much larger tale when I look at it through a writer's eyes.  I thought I'd share part of my writing process with those of you who enjoy putting words on a page.

What story does this box offer you?  What secrets does each item in the box - crayons, a vase, the books - whisper to you?  How do those secrets form a single tale?  How did the box come to rest on this particular corner?

Moving In

We're still hard at work unpacking and moving in.  Well, most of us are, anyway...

Our "decorative cat" (if he's not eating, he pretty much just sleeps) is apparently quite comfortable with the new house.

We're Movin' On Up...

We're in the final stages of moving from one home to another on this end.  The move represents a significant upgrade in every area of our lives.  Once we're unpacked and settled in I'll blog about the entire journey.  Until then, here are aerial photographs of our old neighborhood as compared to our new neighborhood.  The respective houses are shown in each of the photographs.

The Old Neighborhood:  corner liquor store, an "adult" store a block and a half away, half-way houses, hordes of mice, and police on your block every week making drug busts.

The New Neighborhood: forests, fresh air, friendly neighbors, and within easy walking distance to the kids' schools.

The No Excuses Workout - Day 21 (End of Phase One)

What happened to Day 20?

I took the day off.

My plan this week was to take Saturday evening and Sunday morning off from my workout.  We're in the middle of moving and my wife and I both had things we needed to take care of in the morning around the same time.  So I left (on foot) for Office Depot (about an hour's walk away from our house) and she picked me up there when she was free.  We spent the rest of the day packing, lifting boxes and carrying them to the staging area at the front of our house.  (With four kids we have a lot of stuff.)  By the end of the day I was tired. So....

I took my entire twenty-four hour break on Saturday.

The great thing about the workout is that it's flexible.  What would I do if I took today off as well?  Rather than increasing with an additional workout, I'd do the last workout I had completed over again.  What if I took ANOTHER day off?  I'd do the same workout, but I'd drop all of the exercises by two repetitions.  This process continues down to ten reps, which is the floor of the final workout.

And speaking of final workouts - this is the end of Phase One.

I've lost a chunk of weight.  (I don't use scales, but I'm down a full size.)  I'm much stronger (I've packed on the lean muscle), my endurance is way up, and I can stand up, bend at the waist, and touch my knuckles to the floor - which means I've improved my flexibility as well.

Not bad for three weeks of work.

If I simply continued Phase One, my weight would continue to drop, my fitness level (strength, endurance, and flexibility) would continue to increase, and I'd find myself living a very healthy lifestyle.  It's really just that simple.  If you want to get in shape - and stay there - this is one very effective way of doing so.   To think it all began with a single exercise and a one block walk.

Phase Two (which I won't clutter my blog with but will check in with from time to time) is the journey from "fit" to "athelete."  By the end of Phase Two, I'll be well-prepared to join an amateur sports league, competitively run 10Ks, or any activity that requires a higher level of fitness.  Phase Three is the journey from "athelete" to my body's optimnal fitness level.  The "rules" change slightly in each Phase.  For instance, in Phase Two I'll be taking weekends off completely to allow my body time to recover.  In Phase Three I'll be working on overlapping three and six week cycles - which alternate between pushing my body's limits and allowing it time to breathe.

My ultimate goal?  I'm working on that.  The waist in my jeans reads "34" and those in my closet read "30."  I'm tired of my "closet jeans" feeling lonely.  So that's part of it.  I have a couple of crazy ideas that, if I actually go for them, I'll YouTube them and share them that way.  Shhhhh... they're a secret.

So that's it.  The No Excuses Workout is my way of getting incredibly fit with no equipment, no gym, and no expenditure of money.  The entire Phase Three workout (which I'm doing today) is listed below.  In all honesty, this is all I would have to do to achieve and maintain a very good level of fitness.  And to think, it all started three weeks ago on Day One with a walk around the block and a single exercise.

AM Workout

Table Top - three times (from Day One)
Hug and Release - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Three)
Elevation - three times (from Day Four)
Lift - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Five)
Tic Toc - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Six)
Plank - three times (from Day Eight)
Tiny - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Nine)
Hang - three times (from Day Ten)
Bend - three times (from Day Eleven)
Reach - three times (from Day Thirteen)
Pushup - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Thirteen)
Frog Crunch - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Sixteen)
Alternating Crunch - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Seventeen)
Reverse Crunch - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eighteen)
Standard Crunch - one time, twenty repetitions  (from Day Nineteen)

New Exercise: Cobra

Cobra is another yoga move and one that I like to use to end a long series of abdominal work.  I roll over on my stomach and keep my knees and feet together.  Moving my hands into the same position they'd be in to do a Push-Up, and keeping my hips firmly planted on the ground, mattress, or mat, I slowly raise my upper body and arch my back in a slow, gentle movement.  When I get to the limit of what is comfortable for me, I hold it.  The entire "move and hold" process take a count of thirty.  I'll do Cobra three times.

Cardio:

Between 20 to 60 minutes of Walking With Purpose.  On days when my schedule is packed or I haven't had the chance to go walking until the end of the day, I'll do twenty.  On days when I'm free (a sunny Saturday, for example, I'll go for up to an hour).

PM Workout

Twist (No Shout) - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Two)
Bobble Head - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Three)
Too Sexy - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Four)
Popeye - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Five)
Kick Back - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eight)
Flight - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Nine)
Pump - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Ten)
Chair one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eleven)
Good Morning - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Fourteen)
Lower - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Fifteen)
Side Punch - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Sixteen)
Front Punch - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Sixteen)
Cross Punch - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Seventeen)
Elbow Strike - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eighteen)
Upper Cut - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Nineteen)

New Exercise: Dodge

Starting in the same position as the other punches, I imagine a punch is being thrown at my head.  I "dodge" to  the left in a gentle motion, bending quickly at the waist, before straightening and bending to the left.  Bending to the right, then the left, then returning to center is one repetition.  The key to this entire exercise isn't the speed with which it's done, but keeping my navel pulled toward my spine and my abdominal muscles flexed and engaged throughout.  I'll do it one time for twenty repetitions.

The No Excuses Workout - Day 19

Only two half-days left in Phase One after today... Three weeks is usually the amount of time needed ot turn a habit (which takes about three days) into a lifestyle.  Having accomplished that, I'll most likely stop the daily workout blog.  Before and After pictures will post in late August or early September when I've completed Phase Three.

I could stop here.  Doing just Phase One would get me in really astounding shape.  However, I'm aiming a little higher than that... :)

AM Workout

Table Top - three times (from Day One)
Hug and Release - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Three)
Elevation - three times (from Day Four)
Lift - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Five)
Tic Toc - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Six)
Plank - three times (from Day Eight)
Tiny - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Nine)
Hang - three times (from Day Ten)
Bend - three times (from Day Eleven)
Reach - three times (from Day Thirteen)
Pushup - one time, sixteen repetitions (from Day Thirteen)
Frog Crunch - one time, sixteen repetitions (from Day Sixteen)
Alternating Crunch - one time, sixteen  repetitions (from Day Seventeen)
Reverse Crunch - one time, sixteen repetitions (from Day Eighteen)

New Exercise: Standard Crunch

Yes, four Crunches in a row.  My core is strong enough now that I can actually handle it.  While most gym-members have done a the Standard Crunch before, I was taught to do it differently than most are familiar with.

Starting in the typical Crunch position (small of the back pressed into the floor, legs and knees together, feet close to but not touching the body, my navel pulled toward my spine), I curl up just enough to so that my shoulder blades come up off the floor, mat, or mattress.

And here's where things are different.

Rather than continuing to curl up, I simply try to pull the bottom of my rib cage toward my pelvis.  This isn't a Sit-Up with your abs tight - it's called a Crunch for a reason.  What I do is "crunch" those muscles together, like my abs are making a fist.  I perform the motion slowly, making sure that the movement (and hold at the top) last for a count of four before lowering myself back to the "shoulder blades off the ground" position for an additional count of four.

This morning I did sixteen repetitions.  And while it was tough and my muscles cried out for mercy, in less than three weeks I actually HAVE muscles again to do that.

Cardio

I've moved my cardio to the evenings and I'm still Walking With Purpose for at least twenty minutes a day.

PM Workout

Twist (No Shout) - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Two)
Bobble Head - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Three)
Too Sexy - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Four)
Popeye - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Five)
Kick Back - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eight)
Flight - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Nine)
Pump - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Ten)
Chair one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eleven)
Good Morning - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Fourteen)
Lower - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Fifteen)
Side Punch - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Sixteen)
Front Punch - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Sixteen)
Cross Punch - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Seventeen)
Elbow Strike - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eighteen)

Starting in the same position as the other Punches, I turn my fist so that my palm is facing me and flex throughout the motion as I slowly punch upward toward the ceiling for a count of four.  I then reverse the motion and flex back to the starting position before repeating the movement on the opposite side.  The right/left combo is one repetition.  I'll do twenty reps this evening.

Worthy of Song

A little over two years ago I experienced a fairy severe hemorrhagic stroke that left me with memory loss, difficulties speaking (Broca's aphasia), extreme fatigue and a number of other lingering health issues.  While many of the symptoms faded over time, my memory returned, and I overcame my limitations speaking, fought against the constant fatigue and struggled with certain types of logic problems that were a constant companion - even on a good day.

Bad days?  I simply did my best to make it through.

One of the weird side effects of the stroke was that I lost my hay fever allergies.  After being plagued my entire life by constant low-grade sinus irritation throughout most of year, my allergies were suddenly and inexplicably gone.

On top of the lingering symptoms from the stroke, in late June, I found myself battling what I thought was a simple bladder infection.  After five days of discomfort that grew into crippling pain, I found myself in the Emergency Department of our local hospital, pumped full of synthetic morphine and looking at my CAT scan of a kidney stone that was large enough that it was continually blogging my system and backing it up into my kidneys as it slowly worked its way through my body.  Three prescriptions later (and a funnel closed with a mesh screen to catch the stone when I urinated) and I was sent home to wait it out - an experience that the hospital staff informed me was slightly more painful than giving birth.

As I stood in the shower, seeking solace and distraction from the pain under the flow of hot water, I saw a vision of myself (something that is fairly common for a traditionally trained shaman especially under physical duress).  In my vision, my flesh was taught and gnarled like dried meat, every bit of life drawn from it until it was as hard as woven rope.  It's not that my flesh was dead - it's simply that every ounce of softness had been drawn from it.  I was clad in armor forged from tears and pain, images of agony and turmoil from my path woven into the alloy if the plate mail.  I shook my head to clear it of the images, fighting to stand in the shower, overwhelmed by the excruciating pain that carved through my abdomen.

On July 1st at approximately 2 AM West Coast time, I was sitting up in bed, talking with my wife, Briana, when I was hit by a sudden splitting headache that lasted approximately ninety seconds.  While it's hard to accurately explain, I could "see" both frontal lobes of my brain bathed in robin's egg blue light and the area where the stroke occurred illuminated in an even paler blue.  The intensity of the headache (9 on a scale of 1 to 10) stopped our conversation in its tracks before fading as suddenly as it appeared. Due to the lateness of the hour, my wife and I mutually decided to curl up together and and quickly fell asleep.

The next morning when I opened my eyes, I felt "weird."  As I went through my mental library, the most recent time I could remember feeling the same way was approximately five years previous - a morning in the summer when I was in excellent shape and in top physical condition.

As I got out of bed, I discovered that all of the pain and discomfort from the kidney stone had disappeared - even though I never passed the stone. What's more is that all of the lingering symptoms from the stroke - something I have lived with every day for more than two years - were utterly absent.  My mind was sharp, I had a tremendous amount of energy, and everything had been "renewed."

Even my hay fever had returned.

I immediately returned to my pre-stroke activity levels, something I hadn't been able to approach in more than two years.  Working out twice a day (something that would have been unthinkable during the stroke years), I've dropped a full size (shirts and pants) and I’m still going strong.  Everyone - my wife, my children, my extended family - comments on the profound difference in my energy.  Some say I'm "more there."  Others talk about the "intensity" that I bring to every moment (something I was known for in my past).  It's required a recalibration on the part of those that have shared my world for the past two years who grew accustomed to a quiet, low-energy, easily fatigued person.

My old motto used to come from a song by Reverend and the Makers called, "Heavyweight Champion of the World."  The lyric said, "If you're not living on the edge you take up too much room."  My life was once dedicated to milking every moment dry, of falling asleep at the end of every day having lived life - even the simple, stay-at-home mundane moments - to their fullest, and to constantly pushing my boundaries.  I lived a life without regrets.  Every moment was completely and consciously embraced; even when I chose to relax with a book, it was often with candlelight, soft music, and a comforting beverage. When the stroke hit, the fatigue was so severe that, at first, I couldn't do a simple chore for more than a moment or two without having to go rest.  Last night, I had to go walk for an hour around 11 PM simply to unwind as my energy level was too high to sleep - and that was after having worked out twice that day.

As I stepped into the shower the morning after the headache with the blue light, I used a shamanic technique to revisit the vision that I had seen of the hard dried flesh and the armor of pain.  My goal was to understand what my subconscious was telling me and to decipher the lesson behind it.  Instead of a desiccated, ghoulish figure in plate mail of grey and blue alloys, a vibrant Norse warrior in the prime of his life stood in its place.  The armor forged of pain and agony was there, but it was overlaid with thick metal plates of green and gold patterns.  As I looked closer, the patterns in the armor were scenes of life - animals; plants; rivers and mountains; skies and seas.

The chains that once held me down have been shattered.  Given a second chance to run with the wind, nothing will ever restrain me again.  I have an amazing wife, wonderful children, and a handful of trusted friends.  I have perspective, drive, and a pocket full of talent.  And my hunger, drive and confidence are returned in spades.

I've always been "too much" for some people.  The events of the past few years left me a shell of what I once was which I think made it much easier for some folks to accommodate me.  After the headache and blue light, I'm not sure how to explain it, but I'm more than I ever was.  On a normal day, I'm an over-exuberant golden retriever with a furiously wagging tail.  But when the light catches me just right, you stop and realize that there's an awful lot of Wolf in that friendly dog.  It's not a combination that many are comfortable with - but it's me to the core.

A lot of that incredibly deep pool of energy is directed into me pushing my own limits in art, spirituality, fitness, and even in parenting.  To me the phrase "comfort zone" translates to "time to try something new."  Suddenly "scrambled eggs" become "breakfast crepes."  Since I tend to share my art, there's a lot coming down the pipeline that I'll be sharing with all of you.  In addition to writing and photography, I'm starting to sketch again.  I'm learning Spanish and piano and toying with guitar.  In between packing boxes for our upcoming move (next weekend), I'm storyboarding episodes for a long-awaited Web-based video series.

And that is just the tip of the iceberg.

The joke used to be that I accomplished more in a single day than any three people should be able to do.  My junior year in high school I played football, ran cross-country, and was the drum major in the band – all at the same time.  Recharged, renewed, with a freshly forged set of armor, I'm throwing Life to the ground and making it submit to my will and give me every last thing I want.  This chapter of my story is MINE to write. To those who complain and caution, I quietly and firmly say, "Move.”  You’re in my way.  To those who want to come along, I offer a smile that’s half golden retriever’s wagging tail and half wolf’s measured stare.  "If you’re willing, follow me!  It's going to be an epic ride!"

Once, long ago, our deeds were remembered in campfire stories and sang in raucous feasting halls.  The details don’t matter to me, but I will live a life worthy of my ancestor’s songs.  That's a promise.  Don't believe me?  Step aside.  I'll show you how it's done.

The No Excuses Workout - Day 18

Phase One of the workout ends Sunday.  I jokingly refer to Phase One as the "Get In Shape" phase, Phase Two as the "Bikini Workout," and Phase Three as "I Want To Be A Cover Model."  Where Phase One is an every day workout, toward the middle part of Phase Two "skip days" begin to be built in to compensate for my body's ramped up fat burning capability.  When my goals are met, I'll actually shift the workout to once a day and take weekends off to compensate for how quickly my body burns fat and builds lean muscle. (Phase Three is structured accordingly.)

Which, after the "twice a day, every day" journey to get there, perhaps Phase Three should be called the, "Taking It Easy Workout." ;)

AM Workout


Featuring a jump in repetitions for Pushup and the Crunches - as well as a new exercise.

Table Top - three times (from Day One)
Hug and Release - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Three)
Elevation - three times (from Day Four)
Lift - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Five)
Tic Toc - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Six)
Plank - three times (from Day Eight)
Tiny - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Nine)
Hang - three times (from Day Ten)
Bend - three times (from Day Eleven)
Reach - three times (from Day Thirteen)
Pushup - one time, fourteen repetitions (from Day Thirteen)
Frog Crunch - one time, fourteen repetitions (from Day Sixteen)
Alternating Crunch - one time, fourteen repetitions (from Day Seventeen)

New Exercise: Reverse Crunch

The Reverse Crunch is tricky to do correctly as it's a very small movement.  That said, when I do it right I can FEEL that I'm doing it right.  The muscles simply aren't called upon to perform this movement in daily life.

I start on my back with my navel pulled toward my spine.  With my knees and feet together, I draw my legs up toward my body so that my torso and my thighs create a 90 degree angle.  My hands are by my hips and are flat (palms down) and pressed into the floor, mat, or mattress.  Imagining that there is a string attached to my pubic bone, I gently lift my hips while pulling on that string.  My navel is pulled toward my spine the entire time and the movement doesn't go very far but is still performed and/or held for a total count of four.  I then lower my hips and relax into the starting position.  That's one repetition.  To mirror the other abdominal exercises in today's workout, I performed fourteen repetitions of this movement.

Cardio


It's Thursday - which is enough of a reason to Walk With Purpose for thirty minutes rather than the normal twenty.  Mostly the increase in walking gives me the chance to see new scenery.

PM Workout

Twist (No Shout) - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Two)
Bobble Head - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Three)
Too Sexy - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Four)
Popeye - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Five)
Kick Back - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eight)
Flight - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Nine)
Pump - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Ten)
Chair one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eleven)
Good Morning - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Fourteen)
Lower - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Fifteen)
Side Punch - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Sixteen)
Front Punch - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Sixteen)
Cross Punch - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Seventeen)

New Exercise - Elbow Strike

This movement starts in the same starting position as Side Punch.  Keeping my hand in the same general vicinity, I raise my elbow so that it's level with my shoulder.  I then arc my elbow across my body (never allowing it to lower) while I move my fist to the opposite shoulder.  I then return to the starting position.  Alternating this movement on both the right and left sides counts for one repetition.  Tonight I'll do twenty.

The No Excuses Workout - Day 17

I'm two and a half weeks in, have dropped almost a full size (pants and shirts) and have lean muscle popping up everywhere.  While I eat a reasonably healthy diet, this stretch of road saw cheeseburgers for dinner two different nights and me devouring an entire pint Ben & Jerry's Mint Chocolate Cookie ice cream.  That doesn't mean that I can eat anything I want, whenever I want - but it does mean that my workout (even just Phase One) is a "lifestyle workout" and not just a quick fix.  Once or twice a week I can deviate from reasonably healthy choices, indulge my cravings, and still see significant progress.

AM Workout

Table Top - three times (from Day One)
Hug and Release - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Three)
Elevation - three times (from Day Four)
Lift - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Five)
Tic Toc - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Six)
Plank - three times (from Day Eight)
Tiny - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Nine)
Hang - three times (from Day Ten)
Bend - three times (from Day Eleven)
Reach - three times (from Day Thirteen)
Pushup - one time, ten repetitions (from Day Thirteen)
Frog Crunch - one time, ten repetitions (from Day Sixteen)

New Exercise: Alternating Crunch

Continuing from the same position as the Alternating Crunch, I move my knees together and make sure that my navel is still pulled toward my spine and my lower back is pressed into the floor.  I lace my fingers together behind my head and, curling my torso upward, attempt to touch my right elbow to my left knee (keeping my navel pulled toward my spine and my lower back pressed into the floor at all times).  I then lower myself to my starting position and repeat the movement on the opposite side, attempting to touch my left elbow to my right knee.  I then return to the starting position.  That's one repetition.  Today I did ten repetitions.  Each movement is performed slowly for four counts.

Cardio

Same as yesterday.  As long as I'm going at a pace equal to or greater than Walking With Purpose, all that matters is that I do it for at least twenty minutes.  The rest takes care of itself.

PM Workout

Twist (No Shout) - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Two)
Bobble Head - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Three)
Too Sexy - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Four)
Popeye - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Five)
Kick Back - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eight)
Flight - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Nine)
Pump - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Ten)
Chair one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eleven)
Good Morning - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Fourteen)
Lower - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Fifteen)
Side Punch - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Sixteen)
Front Punch - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Sixteen)

New Exercise - Cross Punch

I start this from the same position as the other Punches (my feet a comfortable distance apart, standing tall with my navel pulled toward my spine).  I pick a target about shoulder level approximately two feet in front of me and a foot to my left.  Slowly striking with my right fist (and flexing my muscles throughout the movement) I aim for the target, rolling my fist over so that it faces palm down and shifting my weight to m left foot.  My left knee ends up slightly bent and my right leg somewhat extended.  I then reverse the process and return to my starting position before repeating the movement with my left hand (to my right side).  Each left/right alternating movement is one repetition.  I'll do twenty this evening.

The No Excuses Workout - Day 16

If you've been following along in my workout, one of the reasons why it works is because it becomes crazy-intense.  What starts as one simple exercise and a walk around the block builds each and every day.  The measure of its effectiveness is very simple:  Anyone can do Day One; you actually have to an established level of fitness to jump in at Day 16.

Which means, I've improved my overall fitness level significantly in just over two weeks.

Phase One ends with Sunday's workout.  If all I did was Phase One for the rest of my life, I would maintain a very healthy lifestyle and be able to engage in all kinds of physical activities.  It's really just this easy.

Of course, there are new exercises to add to both the morning and evening workouts before I reach the end of Phase One.

AM Workout


Table Top - three times (from Day One)
Hug and Release - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Three)
Elevation - three times (from Day Four)
Lift - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Five)
Tic Toc - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Six)
Plank - three times (from Day Eight)
Tiny - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Nine)
Hang - three times (from Day Ten)
Bend - three times (from Day Eleven)
Reach - three times (from Day Thirteen)
Pushup - one time, eight repetitions (from Day Thirteen)

The new exercise is called the Frog Crunch.  Laying on my back, I pull my navel toward my spine and push my lower back into the floor or mattress.  I put my feet together and allow my knees to naturally pull apart.  Placing my hands together and interlacing my fingers, I move as if I'm going to touch my hands to my feet by moving them through my knees.  The movement doesn't go very far, but as long as I keep my navel pulled toward my spine and my lower back pushed into the floor or mattress, it's a very effective motion.

Cardio

At least twenty minutes of walking with purpose.  I've moved my walk to the evenings and I do it with the family.  We'll most likely go for thirty minutes, simply because the weather is beautiful and it's a great chance to get out and about.

PM Workout

Twist (No Shout) - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Two)
Bobble Head - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Three)
Too Sexy - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Four)
Popeye - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Five)
Kick Back - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eight)
Flight - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Nine)
Pump - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Ten)
Chair one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eleven)
Good Morning - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Fourteen)
Lower - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Fifteen)

The evening workout offers two new exercises..

The first is the Side Punch.  Standing with my feet a comfortable distance apart, I make soft (not clenched) fists with my hands and place each index finger at the corresponding corner of my mouth.  I then pull my navel toward my spine and stand up tall, shifting my weight so that most of it is on the balls of my feet.  Starting with my right arm, I slowly and fully extend my right arm to my side so I could draw a straight line that went from my left shoulder, through my right shoulder, and to my right hand.  About half way through the motion, I let my hand naturally turn over so that it is facing palm down when my arm is full extended.  My muscles flex through the entire movement.  I then return my had to the corner of my mouth.  That's one repetition.  I'll do twenty reps to the right side and then twenty to the left.

The second exercise is the Front Punch.  Starting the same position as the Side Punch, I slowly extend my right arm in front of me, flexing through the movement and allowing my hand to naturally roll over during the movement.  Rather than aiming for something directly in front of me, my "target" is at arm's length and slightly taller than I am, so that I'm punching upward at an angle.  I return my hand to its starting point and repeat the motion with the left side, alternating arms throughout the movement in a "left, right" pattern.  Doing the movement once with each arm equals one repetition.  I'll do twenty tonight.

The No Excuses Workout - Day 15

Today, Monday (I'm still catching up on posts, so this is going up on Tuesday) is the final week of Phase One.  I'll review the workout at the end, but what seemed really simple (a single exercise and walking once around the block) has already grown into a very effective workout.

Morning Workout

Table Top - three times (from Day One)
Hug and Release - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Three)
Elevation - three times (from Day Four)
Lift - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Five)
Tic Toc - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Six)
Plank - three times (from Day Eight)
Tiny - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Nine)
Hang - three times (from Day Ten)
Bend - three times (from Day Eleven)
Reach - three times (from Day Thirteen)
Pushup - one time, six repetitions (from Day Thirteen)

Cardio

Another twenty minutes of Walking With Purpose.  I tend to pick new routes and walk for 10 minutes in one direction before turning around and walking home.

PM Workout

Twist (No Shout) - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Two)
Bobble Head - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Three)
Too Sexy - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Four)
Popeye - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Five)
Kick Back - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eight)
Flight - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Nine)
Pump - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Ten)
Chair one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eleven)
Good Morning - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Fourteen)

New Exercise: Lower

In all honesty, this is one of my least favorite exercises, not because it targets my triceps, but because it's hard.

Even getting into the starting position is less than a joy.

Backing up to a kitchen counter top (or crouching with my back to a chair) I place my hands palm down on the edge of the counter (or the seat of the chair) so that I'm gripping it before me.  I then move my feet far enough in front of me so that I'm supporting my body weight almost entirely with my arms.

That's the starting position.

From there it's simply a matter of raising my torso straight up and down using only my arms.  I'll do twenty repetitions.  If the movement becomes too difficult, I'll move my feet closer to my body to reduce the weight I'm lifting with my arms.  It may not seem like much, but moving my feet even an inch or two (in either direction) can make a significant adjustment to the movement's difficulty level.

The No Excuses Workout - Day 14

Since it's Sunday (we're in the midst of packing our home for an up-coming move so I'm a few days behind on the blog - but I'm keeping up with the workout), there is no morning workout or cardio - just the evening exercises.  I'm adding another exercise to the PM Workout as I head into the final week of Phase One.


PM Workout

Twist (No Shout) - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Two)
Bobble Head - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Three)
Too Sexy - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Four)
Popeye - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Five)
Kick Back - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eight)
Flight - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Nine)
Pump - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Ten)
Chair - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Eleven)

The new exercise is called Good Morning - and it's one that I perform carefully as it works my back.  Standing with my feet a comfortable distance apart, I place my hands behind my head and lace my fingers together.  Looking up at the ceiling and keeping my back perfectly straight, I slowly lean forward for a count of four.  How far do I go?  As far as is comfortable.  When I'm in terrible shape, I'll lean to about a 45 degree angle.  When I'm in excellent shape, I'll lean forward as deeply as my balance will allow.

Like all of the other exercises in the PM Workout, I'll do it one time for twenty repetitions.

Gentle Strength

As part of one of my upcoming non-fiction books (Waking Up), I'm working on a piece called "Gentle Strength."  A portion of the piece offers a perspective that is rarely considered in our culture.

To paraphrase, let's say you're the ruler of a country called "Home" and an opposing faction is threatening your country through war and violence.  Negotiations and mediation have failed.  Even offering the enemy certain concessions has failed to still their hunger for war.

What do you do, knowing that attack is imminent?

Gentle strength has you remove all those who are unable or unwilling to fight so that they are somewhere safe - a protected refuge or a friendly neighboring country.  Your culture, your very "Home-ness" is your people.  By making your people your first priority, you will protect Home against any and all enemies regardless of what the days ahead may bring.  Those who wish to stay, you teach how to survive, you instill philosophies and concepts in them that keep the heart of your culture alive and strong in the face of adversity.

When the enemy appears at your border, you surrender without firing a shot.

If the enemy plunders your country, you know that material wealth can be replaced.  If they raze your cities, you know your cities can be rebuilt.  If they burn your lands, you will replant.  What is irreplaceable is each and every soul that has been entrusted to your care.  That’s what you protect.

To fight, to raise weapons and kill your enemy, you BECOME your enemy.  You leave your own culture behind and adopt their culture of warfare and violence instead.  Your citizenry that is still occupying your land is prepared to fight YOUR fight - a war of ideas, of beliefs, of strength in the face of adversity.  Each person who has stayed behind, by doing so, has already demonstrated a willingness and ability to sacrifice more than the enemy will ever be willing to lose.  They are willing to pull a trigger in an instant, intending to fight a battle and then be crowned as champions; you are willing to hold your cultural ground forever, no matter the cost.  They are not prepared to win the conflict that you present to them.  You literally cannot be defeated.

Losing a military conflict is not the end of the war.  Both Japan and Germany were soundly defeated in World War II and quickly rebuilt their countries and economy.  After a country is conquered it must then be governed.  Having already prepared the citizenry, removed the powerless to safety and left an unshakeable culture in its place that continually renews its core beliefs as their source of strength, your citizenry will never be swayed to a new political system or the beliefs of the occupying army.  What's more is that those who have retreated to safety have carried your beliefs with them, further spreading the core beliefs of your culture. As your culture is understood and embraced, outside pressure and assistance begins to mount, providing you with additional allies and resources.

Civil disobedience, work slowdowns, and sabotage will make your country ungovernable by an outside force.  No country is able to support a protracted war or finance the cost of governing a citizenry continually engaging in civil disobedience.  Eventually, the occupying force will either allow your people self-rule or will withdraw their armies as their own economy is destroyed by the cost of the war.

As the last tank rolls away, your culture intact, you never surrendered your position.  The enemy brought their cultural perspective, was forced through the process of conqueror evolving to governor to adopt yours, and was still forced to retreat.

Who truly won the war?

That is gentle strength.

Much of this portion of the book will focus, not on military conflict, but on how to apply these concepts in our own lives.  It’s not a matter of “fight or don’t fight” but choosing the conflict which we will engage in and simply refusing to fight on the enemy's terms.  If we won’t fight them on their ground, they are forced to fight us on our own.  Having lost this and countless other perspectives, there is a tremendous amount of personal strength that we have surrendered unknowingly and depths to our existence which we have never dared to imagine.  Waking Up will offer us those pieces once more.

Failbook - Captcha

I really dislike Facebook.  Among the countless reasons why I refer to it as Failbook is the fact that there is no "white list" for links associated with your profile.

A handful of times each week, I receive a notice that some individual (a person that I've never heard of) has posted a link on my wall.  It always ends up being spam - and, to Failbook's credit, it's usually gone before I can delete it.  (The unasked question would be, "How did a strange third party defeat Failbook's security and privacy - mine is turned all the way up - to post something on my wall in the first place?")

On the other hand, each and every time I try to place a link to my own blog, I'm forced to enter a captcha to do so.

Most of the time, the captcha words are simply unreadable.  It's not unusual for me to have to click the "Try different words" link a half-dozen times before I can even read what I'm supposed to type.

This morning Failbook took things to an entirely new level of frustration...

The No Excuses Workout - Day 13

Day Thirteen adds TWO additional exercise to the morning workout AND increases the reps from fifteen to twenty.  As it is Saturday in my world, there is no evening workout as I enter my twenty-four hours of "down time."

This morning's workout went as follows...

Table Top - three times (from Day One)
Hug and Release - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Three)
Elevation - three times (from Day Four)
Lift - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Five)
Tic Toc - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Six)
Plank - three times (from Day Eight)
Tiny - one time, twenty repetitions (from Day Nine)
Hang - three times (from Day Ten)
Bend - three times (from Day Eleven)

The first new exercise is called Reach.  It's another yoga move.  To perform this, I sit on the ground with my legs together and my hands at my sides.  First, I reach toward the ceiling and stretch as tall as I can for a count of four.  Then, bending forward, I reach for my toes for a count of thirty.  I personally let gravity pull my upper body down toward my legs as I find that more comfortable than continual reaching.  To end the movement, I sit up straight, reach for the sky for another four count, and then lower my hands to my sides once more.

The second new exercise is the Pushup.  I start in the upright position.  It's very similar to Plank except that I'm supported by my hands instead of elbows and forearms.  My navel is pulled toward my spine and my back is straight throughout the movement.

Keeping my back straight, I slowly lower my upper body for a count of four until my chest is between four to six inches off the ground.  Then I slowly raise my upper body (for a count of four) to the starting position. That's one repetition.

When I was initially building strength, I would modify Pushup slightly.  Instead of starting on my toes, I'd start on my knees and stay on my knees throughout the movement.  If I found this movement uncomfortable, I'd return to my bed and perform Pushup on my mattress.

Today I did five repetitions.  That may not seem like much, but done correctly (four seconds down, four seconds up) that's forty seconds of Pushups - which is a lot more than I did yesterday.

Cardio:

Another twenty-five minutes of Walking With Purpose.  On Monday, I'll be mixing things up as far as my cardio is concerned.

PM Workout:

As it's Saturday in my world, there is no PM Workout as I enter the twenty-four hours of downtime.

The No Excuses Workout - Day 12

Today brings an increase in repetitions in both the morning and evening workouts.

Exercise:

This morning's workout went like this...

Table Top - three times (from Day One)
Hug and Release - one time, fifteen repetitions (from Day Three)
Elevation - three times (from Day Four)
Lift - one time, fifteen repetitions (from Day Five)
Tic Toc - one time, fifteen repetitions (from Day Six)
Plank - three times (from Day Eight)
Tiny - one time, fifteen repetitions (from Day Nine)
Hang - three times (from Day Ten)
Bend - three times (from Day Eleven)

Cardio:

I increased things by five minutes, extending Walking With Purpose to twenty-five minutes.

PM Workout:

All of the repetitions increased from fifteen to twenty...

Twist (No Shout) - one time, fifteen repetitions (from Day Two)
Bobble Head - one time, fifteen repetitions (from Day Three)
Too Sexy - one time, fifteen repetitions (from Day Four)
Popeye - one time, fifteen repetitions (from Day Five)
Kick Back - one time, fifteen repetitions (from Day Eight)
Flight - one time, fifteen repetitions (from Day Nine)
Pump - one time, fifteen repetitions (from Day Ten)
Chair one time, fifteen repetitions (from Day Eleven)

There are only a handful of additional exercises to add and then Phase One is complete.  For those following from home, Phase One is all that's required to get in shape and stay there. I'll be sharing Phase Two and Phase Three as my workout continues to build.

Marriage, Sex, and Sacred Ground

My wife, Briana, came across an article in the New York Times called, "Married, With Infidelities."  The piece looks at the challenges inherent to monogamy and considers some "non-traditional" options to addressing an individual’s needs within the framework of a marriage.

I think one of the issues that isn't discussed in the greater scheme of relationships is that, to the mainstream public, there are two options - you can get married or you can break up.  The standard rule of thumb for adult dating is that if you aren't moving toward marriage after six months, you're wasting your time and should find someone else.

What if we had a banquet of choices to choose from?  Would we gather to celebrate a couple's "linking," knowing that it was a blending of finances and the creation of a romantic and sexual "home base" from which they could retreat to and explore the world from?  What if "partners" meant exactly that and you worked toward common goals, were romantically and sexually available to each other, but the commitment was to your goals and not to the relationship itself?  What if we brought back some of the older traditions, where the bonding was for a year and a day and after that time had elapsed, the couple had the option to reaffirm that bond for another year and a day, move on with no hard feelings, or embrace a deeper form of commitment together?

Our marriage works because both Bri and I make it OUR priority.  While we spend our moments apart working on our individual paths and dreams, when we come together, our focus is on supporting each other and our collective vision.  We made the commitment that it's not "my" way or "Bri's way" but "our" way.  When we don't agree on something, we both understand that the path we'll follow is where our collective vision meets - and we trust that the path we find together is a better representation of "us" than either of us could have found alone.

Marriage, in our world, "repays" that energy and devotion with love, support, trust, a person who constantly has your back, and the knowledge that any dream that is important to you is a dream that you aren't reaching for alone - even if the other person is the silent partner who takes over your share of the mundane tasks while you pursue your goals, cheers from the sidelines, our constantly and quietly encourages you when your own energy is running low.  It's not a situation where we ask, "What will you do for me if I do this for you?" but one where both people constantly give to the other.  It may seem strange to the outside world, but it works because you can't ever "run out" - of love, of time, of patience, of energy - because even when you're giving to your partner, your partner is giving to you.

The article is right in that you have to be willing to "whore" for each other in a monogamous relationship if you intend on sexually fulfilling each other within that framework.  When Bri and I decided to get married, we talked and agreed that in a monogamous relationship we were both willing to be responsible for each other's fantasies, desires, pleasure and fulfillment.  Because the very foundation of our marriage is communication, a commitment to our collective vision, and a willingness to put "us" and "you" ahead of "me,"  that commitment to fulfilling each other's sexual desires is frequently embraced but never exploited.  If one of us had a fantasy or desire that the other was truly uncomfortable with, it's not a situation where one person would simply "shut up and put out" or the other would go unfulfilled, but the fantasy/desire would literally disappear because the love for each other is so strong that fantasy/desire has no room to exist where it would create anything but joy. That kind of love requires tending and nurturing.  It's scary because you're wide open and vulnerable.  But with each new piece of you that's accepted by your partner, the depth of that love grows.  Sex turns into something where even "vanilla" leaves us both trembling and breathless - "double raspberry twist with toppings" is a kind of "WOW!!!" that erotica has never imagined.

That level of commitment takes immense amounts of work and communication - and a commitment to constantly refine one's own tools and approach to communication so that things are completely understood.   Marriage, in our world, is a sacred thing that requires sacrifice, commitment, and immense amount of work and devotion.  We take that word - sacred - very seriously and truly work to make our marriage exactly that.  Bri and I joke that many couples are "math" couples and we're a "village" couple....

Imagine that it was long ago and your village was completely destroyed by fire.  Math couples would weigh the cost of rebuilding and the time and commitment required to do so against the benefits of moving on and finding a new home is a very viable option.  Village couples say, "This is our home," and simply start rebuilding - more strong and beautiful than before.  No other option occurs to you.  Your village is sacred ground and nothing could ever replace your home.  It's a deep, innate commitment and understanding that sometimes seems out of place in our culture.

I think the challenges we face in our culture are that some hearts want to explore the world - which they should.  Others want to live in the big city and meet lots of people.  That's beautiful and perfect for them.  Our marriage is one where we want to plant together, to see the fruits of our labor reach harvest, to share in those joys together, and to plan next year's "crop" in a way that ideally speaks to "us," "Bri" and "me" in the framework of the relationship.

Our marriage isn't a piece of paper and a pair of rings.  It's a sacred commitment, as deep or deeper than that found in any religious order.  When Bri and I were married, we entered into a paradox.  For the marriage to work, we had to give ourselves to it completely; to have anything worth giving, we had to first nurture our own selves.  The more I can give to Bri, the more beauty she has to bring to the marriage and vice versa.  With both of us fully committed to and invested in what we create together, it isn't a scenario where you can ever give too much.  Your partner is always giving back to you, constantly expressing appreciation, and showing you endless amounts of love.  Maybe you have to shoulder the bulk of the weight for a stretch of the road; maybe you're partner has to do the same.  But you do so knowing that you're doing it for someone you love and someone who loves you just as deeply.  They give back to you - maybe not that day or even that week, but they will, simply because they love you and are committed to "we."  It's a sacred place where you and your partner multiply everything you give and you receive more love, beauty, encouragement, support, and pleasure in that sacred partnership than you could have ever found alone on mundane ground.